Yesterday was my 37th birthday and as per usual much of my day was spent in my head and in my journal reflecting on the past year of my life.
I’m not sure what happens inside as you get closer to 40 but I for sure felt a significant shift take place on the inside of me.
I got this overwhelming feeling of really not giving a damn what other people think about me or feel about the work that I am doing.
Caring about what other people think about me has been something that I have carried with me my whole life. I have always had this desire/need to want to please others. To make sure other people were happy. To make sure that I didn’t rock the boat.
Over the past two years this has been something that I have become clearly conscious of and I have been doing my work to release this belief that I must make everyone happy.
Maybe you can relate to this and get where I am coming from??
I get that it comes from growing up feeling as if I had to be perfect. Feeling like I had to always do the right thing because if I didn’t my mom would get mad at me. As a kid I didn’t want my mom to be upset with me.
Anytime she was upset, even if it had nothing to do with me, I formed this belief that I had to do better so that she would be happy. So that she would be proud of me. I deeply wanted to hear and know that I was good enough, perfect the way I was and that my behavior was pleasing.
I carried this into my adult life and it’s interesting because people have told me that I have such a pleasing personality. In corporate this was seen as such a great trait to have.
However I have come to realize that the term “pleasing personality” really means that you are the kind of person that people can count on to just go with the flow. You are the person who is highly agreeable, smiles and nods at everything.
This personality has not served me very well in my life because by being pleasing I have shut out my voice, my opinion and my thoughts.
I had created this woman who constantly silenced herself because I couldn’t risk making someone else upset. I couldn’t risk causing someone else the pain of examining themselves.
Well over the past two years I have chosen to know and believe that I am not responsible for someone else’s emotions. If the way I show up, the way I speak, my opinion, my thoughts and my ideas upset anyone it’s not for me to carry that burden.
We are responsible for our own emotions and as such I choose to not take on anyone else’s emotions because I do not have the power to control what another person feels or thinks.
So as I have gradually been making this journey of not being overly concerned about what other people think about me it all came to a head on my 37th birthday yesterday.
I thought to myself, “Okay Kendra you are here on this earth to live YOUR life and to do YOUR work and go on YOUR journey. What other people think or say about your path in life is none of your concern. Are you going to allow the thoughts and opinions of others to rule your own judgement about YOUR life?”
As I pondered over this it didn’t take long for me to really embody this idea of letting go of the need to care about what other people think, say or do when it concerns me.
It goes hand in hand with another belief that I have that says – I am ALWAYS supported by God – so if I am always supported by my source why the heck do I need to allow my precious energy to be spent on worrying about the response of the world.
So why do you need to allow your precious energy to be spend on worrying about the response of the world?
The way the world responds to you is none of your business. Your goal here is to show up and do the work that you have been placed here to do.
Your job is to show up for those who NEED what you have.
Yes, there are hundreds and thousands of people on this planet that are just waiting to cross your path and learn what you have to teach.
They are waiting on you. So if you and I choose to invest our energy in what the world thinks about us that means we have less energy to put into our purpose.
It’s time to create some new rules. I have started righting out the new rules for my life and business and I want to encourage you to do the same.
What do you deeply desire to bring forth in your life and business?
How do you want your existence to be imprinted upon this earth?
What rules would bring you joy, ease, fulfillment, satisfaction and purpose?
Whatever those rules are for you understand that they are how you get to live your life and show up every day. YOU get to create the rules for your life and business.
Here are just a few of my new rules:
- I deeply and completely love and accept myself.
- To celebrate myself and my life every day not just on my birthday.
- I will consciously and consistently choose love over fear.
- My business, life, money, health, marriage and motherhood get to be easy and deeply fulfilling.
- I will ask for help when I need it and I will ask for exactly what I want.
What will your new rules be? I have so many more that I could share but I think you get the idea.
There is no one else in this world who has power over your life.
I love this excerpt from A Course in Miracles:
“You believe there are people and groups outside of you that have power over you. There are no external sources. The source of your experience with these “other” is your mind”
So reclaim back your power over your mind, life, business and total existence. Become unavailable for anything that goes against your deep desires.
Give others their power back by relinquishing your hold on what other people think about you.
Your people are waiting for YOU. How much longer are you going to keep them waiting?
I love you,
The Mindset Queen
P.S. ~ If you know me then you know I LOVE flowers. They give me so much life!!! Aren’t these flowers so beautiful?? These are from my hubby and I love, love, love them!!
P.S. ~ I would love to have you in my AWESOME group Epic Boss Babes.
You can join here: https://www.facebook.com/groups/129905170919456/
This is a group for the female entrepreneur who refuses to settle and is unapologetic about wanting MORE. More what? More everything of course!!!
She is purpose minded, ready to step into her power of impact and influence and create prosperity in all areas of her life and business.
In this community you get to show up in only the way that you can, in ALL of your uniqueness. Here we believe that your business is life and life is business. There are no one size fits all rules for how you need to be successful, the only true way to success is by simply being YOU.