Today I am sitting in the café of my favorite organic grocery store after receiving an amazing massage and I feel like that I am finally doing EXACTLY what I am supposed to be doing in my life. No not just getting massages and sitting at cool café’s but being the leader, messenger, writer and teacher that I knew I was supposed to be when I was little girl playing school with my dolls.
So it’s been exactly 80 days since I left corporate to work full time in my own business and each day brings with it new realization and new revelation that I couldn’t have received until this moment in time.
I look back at all of the times where I doubted myself, held my tongue and didn’t ask for what I wanted because I was too afraid to go against the grain of life and I realize that the reason I was so afraid was because I didn’t really know who I was. Somewhere along the path of doing all of the right things I lost the essence of who Kendra was. I lost my passion, natural curiosity, adventure, purpose, wanderlust and my laughter.
I wasn’t even operating in any of my natural God given abilities. I was afraid. My inner critic was so loud back then always trying to protect me and make sure that I was safe. I spent the majority of my days ensuring that I showed up in a way that didn’t make people feel too uncomfortable.
I knew deep down that there was something within me that wasn’t being acknowledged but I knew that if I let that part of me be seen those around me would think I was crazy. I guess you could say that I was so scared of what people were thinking of me that I was willing to sell my soul for their happiness. I was willing to push down my own wants, needs and dreams if it meant that it kept those around me happy.
To ensure that the part of me that wanted to shine bright stayed within I ignored this part of me. I numbed myself with television and food to make myself feel better. I was so willing to keep my light from shining because the little girl inside of me was so afraid. She didn’t feel safe to be seen. She didn’t know that she would always be supported no matter what. She didn’t know that by allowing her light within to shine she would actually create amazing impact in the lives of others.
Really I didn’t fully understand what I was made of. I had no clue of the power that lay deep inside of me. I would feel it from time to time when I was in prayer or listening to really inspirational music. I would feel it stirring within me but because my mind could not conceive or figure out how to keep me alive while allowing this beautiful part of me to shine the feeling would fade away.
I am sharing this with you because I wonder if you might be doing the same thing. Going through the expected automatic ways of life because you are too afraid to really be seen. I wonder if you lay awake at night wondering when you’ll get the courage to bust yourself out of the prison that you’ve kept yourself in over the years.
I wonder when you will finally realize that no matter what you are always support by God. And I also wonder if you fully get that the power, vision and dreams that you hold inside of you are REAL. That you actually get to be the woman that you see yourself being in your mind. I wonder if you full realize that the stuff that is inside of you was given to you before you were even born by your CREATOR so that you could CREATE the life you are supposed to be living.
What if you are actually living the wrong life? Looking back at the women who earned two degrees so that she could find a good job in corporate and work for someone else’s dream I realize that she was living the wrong life. It was never meant for me to live a status quo life and settle for the normal things of life. And it’s not meant for you to live a status quo life either.
Do you know how you can tell when you are not fully living the life you are meant to live? You simply just need to pay attention to the things that are manifesting in your life. Pay attention to how you FEEL on a daily basis. Pay attention to your dominant emotions throughout the day and see what you find.
For me I found that frequently getting sick, anxiety, stress, fatigue, depression, excessively watching TV, were all ways in which my soul was trying to get my attention to tell me that I wasn’t living my life right. It was my bodies was of saying hey woman you were not created for this WAKE UP.
It’s like trying to drive a truck that only runs off diesel and putting regular fuel in it. It won’t happen, it will lock up on you and the engine will not work. It’s the same thing with your life love. If you aren’t doing the thing in which you know you are supposed to be doing your body will tell you.
What I need you to get from this today is that everything you absolutely need to live a life full of purpose and fulfillment is already inside of you. There is nothing that you to worry about, you will be supported when you step into your purpose, you are safe to be just who you want to be. There isn’t anything in this world that can stop you once you fully step into your power.
The universe will literally rise up to meet you and give you the daily guidance you need to walk along your path confidently. What you get to do is cultivate your inner self by releasing the thoughts and beliefs that do not serve you, heal your wounds, forgive yourself for not showing up for yourself earlier in life, become intentional with your day and be unapologetic about who you are and what you want. So what if it makes people uncomfortable that has nothing to do with you and your purpose.
It’s time for you to start getting really honest with yourself about where your life is going. It’s time for you to finally step out and do that which may be a little scary but that DEEP down you know you need to be doing.
We are at the end of a year and living a life that isn’t yours for another year is just crazy. Be courageous for you, be brave for you and choose to be the woman NOW that you were CREATED to be.
Lots of love,
P.S. ~ My 2018 Purpose Planning Workshop is coming soon!! If you are ready to make 2018 the year in which you live the life that you were created to live then keep your eyes on my page. This isn’t going to be your typical let’s set goals for the New Year kind of workshop, no I am going to take you DEEP into the depths of yourself where you will find exactly what it is that you need to be doing in the next year to come.
This workshop is for all of the Queens who are ready to live a life on purpose, on her terms and with massive fulfillment. The investment will be $47 because I want ALL of you there. Stay tuned and go ahead NOW and leave me a comment letting me know you’ll be there. I can’t wait!!