Do you know what it means to be purposeful? It’s another way of saying be intentional and I have learned, and am still learning, that being purposeful or intentional is one of the ways we can create change in our lives when we are tired of being tired. It’s super important to be on purpose with our self-talk or that inner monologue that takes place within us every single day. I speak with several women a week who tell me that they don’t like where there life is at and that they don’t know where that driven, happy and carefree woman is anymore that they used to be. One of the first things I ask is, “what are you saying to yourself about yourself as you see yourself today,” and I take note of what I am being told. I then repeat back to them what they have told me and it’s funny because when they hear their words coming from someone else about them it normally creates an ah-ha moment.
We can be so critical of ourselves and I think women are the most critical of ourselves and of other women. Most of this comes from trying to live up to the standard of a woman that society says we should be. It truly makes me sad when I see women every day who talk so bad to themselves because they aren’t the type of woman that society says is beautiful and successful. I want you to know that you are beautiful and worthy just as you were created. I learned awhile ago that when I would talk bad about myself or get frustrated because I didn’t believe I was good enough, what I was really saying is God you made a mistake on me and by saying that I was also saying God you are a mistake. When I told myself that I wasn’t good enough I was also saying God you aren’t good enough. Think about that, if we are made in the image and likeness of God then everything that we think or say that is negative about ourselves are also saying that of our creator.
There are two different types of self-talk, dysfunctional and constructive. These are self explanatory but let me break then down for you.
- Dysfunctional – Just as you might imagine this type of self-talk is critical and emotionally crippling for you. An inner dialogue that is dysfunctional causes you to always question and doubt yourself which leads you to being stagnant and stuck in that one place. You may experience this type of self-talk when you have set your sight on achieving a particular goal that seems unrealistic to your mind so then you start doubting yourself and your abilities. I want you to understand that the mind does not want to go down an unfamiliar path simply because our mind is very logical in nature, so it wants to keep you right where you are because it knows what to expect, it has been conditioned. So I challenge you to recognize this types of self-talk within yourself and immediately begin reconditioning your mind around more positive and up lifting language for yourself. .
- Constructive – This type of self-talk encourages you, affirms your actions positively and makes you feel good about yourself. With this type of self-talk you acknowledge that your worth is not contingent upon how the world sees you but on how you see yourself. With this language you become your own cheerleader and you make yourself feel good. When you speak constructively to yourself you allow your mind to be free flowing and creative in coming up with solutions and ideas.
Your inner monologue shows up in how you see yourself and the type of image that you project to those around you. So when your inner monologue is constructive your self-image is congruent with this language but the opposite is true as well so again I encourage you to be mindful.
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